There's Still Hope for Millennial Dating

By Blake Egozi on October 22, 2016

Stricken with my monthly cold, I found myself re-watching old episodes of Sex and the City. After hours of listening to four women complain about how impossible it is to find the right man, I had a minor epiphany. These conversations sounded awfully familiar.

The complaints I was hearing on this television show from the ’90s sounded quite similar to the complaints I’ve heard in the past years around campus. We as millennials love to grumble about how the Internet age has brutally murdered the concept of dating and ruined love. While online dating has definitely taken over what it means to search for a significant other, I’m skeptical that much has actually changed.

The biggest thing I have noticed while watching Sex and the City is that the types of complaints that I constantly hear from 20-somethings about dating aren’t new. If you stick some technological phrases and the word “ghosting” into a typical Sex and the City lunch you would have something straight out of a 2016 group chat.

It seems that women and men have always been from opposite planets and will therefore always fall victim to the same misunderstandings and awkward encounters. While the tricks and games may have gotten more complicated in the last couple of decades, they were still always prevalent. Back in the day people screened calls, now we ignore texts. Anxious daters used to wait around for days to see if the other person would call, now we stalk Instagram pages while we wait for a text. Guys used to use the waiting two days to call her rule, and now millennials use the wait at least two minutes to respond to a text law.

People never wanted to seem too eager; there were always un-returned messages, and we always worried about every little move we made. We can think of Tinder as a modern single’s bar. Instead of sitting on a bar stool with your friends judging each person walking by, we sit in the comfort of our home, swiping. This may have made us lazier daters but picking mates based on attractiveness isn’t a new concept.

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So you see, in retrospect dating hasn’t changed all that much. If anything is different it might be that we have lowered our expectations of each other and we choose not to be upfront about what we want. If you are looking for a serious partner, don’t be upset when your one-night stand doesn’t work out.

The millennial generation has made light of disrespectful actions such as “ghosting” and “Netflix and chill.” Even though these types of unfortunate encounters were happening way before our time, they were seen as more taboo and wrong. If we as a society find more humor than rage in these types of actions then we can’t be surprised when they become the norm. If you don’t like the way you are being treated you have the power to change it.

It’s time for everyone to realize that you can play the game without being deceitful. The golden rule in dating is actions speak louder than words. We might think it’s not socially acceptable to openly announce that we’re looking for a significant other, but it’s definitely okay to end the hangout session outside of your apartment.

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The simple truth just might be that dating culture hasn’t really changed at all in the past 50 years. If the women in Sex and the City sat around complaining about the same things that I hear girls talk about around campus now, then maybe we don’t have to stress so much about finding that special someone.

The great epiphany is that dating has always been the worst and probably always will be. Finding someone takes time and patience so instead of complaining about the loss of dating, let’s just choose to let love happen. I think we can all agree that the one great thing about millennial life is that you can FB stalk your date before you meet up for drinks. Carrie would be jealous to know that we never have to suffer through a truly blind date.

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